


by the water

by nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes)



Series: me sobbing about critical role [106]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Drabble, Drowning, F/M, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Introspection, Memories, Minific, Past Character Death, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 06:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20253472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/nonbinarywithaknife





	by the water

It’s late. Caleb could tell what time it is, down to the second, she knows. She sneaks through the streets of her hometown, and sees the burnt out ashes of her home and flinches and keeps going. 

It takes very little time at all for her to reach the riverside. 

_They took me to this river, and they drowned me in it_. 

She looks down into the water, reflecting the moonlight, and feels something in inside her, like a, a lead weight in her chest, like a horse has just kicked in her ribs, like if she doesn’t let it out it she’ll just scream and scream and scream-

Nott sits down in the grass. It’s soft, like she remembers, and there are little daises sprouting along the riverbank. It’s a beautiful place. 

_Veth tries so hard. She screams and screams and tries to reach desperately for the shore, tries so hard to hold on to something, anything. When her body is found, later, there are a small bunch of daises clutched tightly in one of her mangled hands._

Nott pulls out her flask and takes a sip. A drink. A pull, drinks until she has to breathe in through her nose. The water is so clear you can see your reflection in it. When Veth was a silly, lovesick teenager, she would come down to the river and practice braiding her hair. 

She could never get it right, one would always be messier than the other, and there was only one mirror in her house that her brothers jeered at her for using. So Veth came down to the river, far enough down that the other children wouldn’t stumble upon her, and braid and unbraid and braid and unbraid her hair, tying in grass and daisies, and she never could get it quite right. 

_Veth is untying her braids for the fifth time so far, frustrated to tears because Yeza asked her to the Harvest Close festival and it’s tomorrow and she still can’t get this stupid braid to sit right and maybe it isn’t the braid, maybe she just isn’t pretty, just can’t ever look good, and-_

_She’s interrupted by a tap on her shoulder. She whirls around, only to see Yeza, his face bright red. She doesn’t realize she’s crying until he peers closer, concerned.  
_

_“Veth? Is everything okay?”  
_

_She doesn’t answer, and he moves closer. He takes something out of his pocket, something small and wrapped in brown paper.  
_

_“I, uh, saw this and thought of you?”  
_

_She takes it and unwraps it. It’s a wood button, stained green, chipped on the side. She can feel her stupid eyes tearing up again and Yeza’s eyes widen.  
_

_“I’m sorry- I, it was stupid, it’s okay, you don’t have to like it-,” He shuts up when she lunges forward and wraps her arms around him.  
_

_She doesn’t say anything, but they sit together by the river for the rest of the day, talking and talking, and she walks home with a smile on her face._

Nott sits by the river until the sun is high in the sky. The others are awake by now. They’re probably worried about where she’s gone. She should _message_ them. She takes a swig from her flask and gets up. It’s a matter of minutes to slink through the town and back to the inn. She catches her reflection in the metal of the blacksmith’s sign and flinches and keeps going. 


End file.
